Just End It Like Beckham

The countdown to the 2012 Games has officially begun after London was handed the Olympic flag - and if Britain's cameo is anything to go by the omens don't look good.

David Beckham, Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page fronted the eight-minute centrepiece in Beijing to officially start the clock ticking on the 1,433 days until the torch arrives.

But it was Britain's turn to shine after Beijing's faultless delivery, and in characteristic style a blunder soon became apparent.

It was not gaffe-prone London mayor Boris Johnson who provided the slip-up.

He didn't manage to set fire to the flag or poke it in the eye of a young child.

He walked along the long red carpet with his Beijing counterpart without managing to trip up.

His shoelaces were tied, and he even looked neat and tidy. His normally tousled hair was combed, and he waved the Olympic flag confidently the required six times.

The national anthem was then sung by a choir, including the far more awkward second verse, and the Union Flag was raised without becoming stuck halfway.

But when the lights went out, and London's dreadful 2012 Games logo was illuminated, it was obvious something was going to happen.

A red double-decker bus, emblazoned with London-Beijing-London, then drove into the Bird's Nest stadium without managing to run out of diesel.

This kick-started a bizarre dance routine involving newspapers and umbrellas. The dancers then crowded around the bus and leapt back dramatically for some reason as a young girl got out.

She got off the bus without falling - the London bus driver had actually stopped first. And then she walked along a zebra crossing, helped by a lollipop lady.

All it needed was a drunk holding a pasty, or a Big Issue seller, and the idyllic London scene would have been complete.

Some sort of James Bond wizardry took place, and no the bus didn't turn into a submarine or a helicopter.

Instead, wonder of wonders, the top opened up as The X Factor winner Lewis and Page, wielding a Gibson guitar, rose up on to a stage.

Lewis started off with some warbling and then the pair got it into their heads to try to pull off a widely optimistic version of Led Zeppelin's A Whole Lotta Love.

This was the trouble. The performance spectacularly failed to live up to its promises, with major sound problems leaving a pale imitation of the riffy, high-octane classic.

At times the guitar was drowned out, and sounded like it was coming through a bedroom amp, and Lewis looked uncomfortable throughout.

It was cringeworthy and I was glad when it spluttered to a stop. Only Beckham saved the day when he emerged from the top of the bus to rapturous applause.

He waved for a bit and then kicked a football into the crowd without managing to injure his metatarsal.

Chinese dancers scrambled for the ball like relic hunters, and the cameras focused on the beaming face of the man who managed to hold on to it.

Bill Morris, London 2012's pompously-titled director of culture, ceremonies and education, had promised to keep things simple. And he did just that.

Why couldn't they all just end it like Beckham?

Beijing 2008: Olympics In Numbers

302 Number of gold medals won in Beijing. France took the last one by beating Iceland in the men's handball. Not the most spectacular of climaxes…

3 The number of 'slant-eyed' pictures that emerged of Spanish and Argentinean athletes making crude impersonations of Chinese people.

37 Age David Beckham will be when London hosts the 2012 Olympics. He hopes he is not too old to make a swansong appearance in the football.

132 Number of Olympic records broken in Beijing.

43 Number of world records broken.

87 Number of countries joining the medal count. First ever medals for Afghanistan, Mauritius, Tajikistan and Togo. First ever golds for Bahrain, Mongolia and Panama.

5 million Number of unique users on the IOC's official website - nearly double that of the 2004 Games.

8 Number of golds won by American swimmer Michael Phelps. He beat 78 countries in the medals table.

500,000 Number of enthusiastic Chinese volunteers welcoming Olympic visitors.

4 Number of drug cheats caught during the Games, including Ukrainian heptathlete Lyudmila Blonska, who was stripped of her silver.

437 Number of BBC staff covering the Games in Beijing.

15 million The cost in pounds of lottery funding per gold won by Britain.

40,000 The current bid in pounds for one of Lin Dan's trainers after he threw them into the crowd to celebrate his badminton gold.

67 The age of the oldest competitor in the Games. Hiroshi Hoketsu made a return to the dressage after a 44-year break.

9 The age of the Chinese girl who mimed during the opening ceremony because the real singer was not attractive enough.

1,100 The amount in pounds lost by British swimming ace Rebecca Adlington's parents in an internet ticket scam.

14 The alleged age of China's double gold-winning gymnast He Kexin. Beijing insists she is not underage, but the controversy continues.

1 The number of taxi bonnets a jubilant Bradley Wiggins rolled over at Beijing's London House, while shouting "peace to the world".

6 The shock factor when Britain's bronze medalist Bryony Shaw used the F-word live on TV.

20,000 The amount in pounds Britons will reportedly get if they win golds at the London Olympics, under new plans by the British Olympic Association (BOA).

100,000 The amount in pounds Phelps won for his eight titles.

20 The number of years in prison the offender should get who came up with the idea of calling Great Britain's stars Team GB.

Banned Dog Meat Served In Beijing

Restaurants in Beijing are continuing to serve dog meat despite an Olympic ban on the infamous dish.

Officials red-carded the food because they were worried about upsetting tourists visiting the capital during the Beijing Games.

But Sky News found five Beijing restaurants still serving the dish, and went along to visit one of them in the north-west of the city.

Da Cheng Jiu Jia, which in English means Big Honest Restaurant, specialises in dog meat, serving up everything from dog hot pot to fried dog's penis.

We bought a bowl of poodle, I mean noodle soup, with a generous handful of poached dog meat scattered over the top, for 60 yuan - £5 - and a plate of stir-fried dog in chilli sauce for £2.50.

The staff expressed little surprise that a foreigner was ordering the meat - despite the Olympic ban - and were more concerned about how incompetently I was handling my chopsticks.

The fried dog meat was revolting, and even though the fiery sauce managed to cover up most of the flavour, neither me nor my Chinese translator managed more than a mouthful.

But the poached dog meat was far worse. It is difficult to draw comparisons. The closest description I can muster is putrid pork, with a stringy texture similar to well-stewed beef.

I managed a mouthful of each, purely for research purposes, and was glad I'd ordered a plate of spinach and fried vegetables to help it down.

The owner showed no surprise when we left most of our meal - and in case you're wondering she didn't offer us a doggy bag.

She told my translator they did not know where the dog had come from, or what breed it was, but said it was bought from a wholesaler outside Beijing.

"We buy it in bags," she said." It is a mixture of different types of dog. Big ones and small ones."

Animal rights groups have slammed the dog meat trade in China, and said the Olympic ban was simply a cosmetic move to try to clean up the city's image for foreign visitors.

Earlier this year, Sky News told how investigation agency Ecostorm gained access to the industry by posing as businessmen and secured pictures of dogs being brutally killed with clubs and knives.

The images showed the animals taking up to seven minutes to die before they are boiled and skinned.

They said is was one of the worst examples of animal-abuse they have ever seen.During the 1988 Seoul Olympics, South Korea also banned dog from menus.

Olympic Knickers And A Twist

Olympic officials have been branded "pedantic" after a hockey coach was banned from a game because his players were wearing the wrong colour underpants.

Kevin Marr had to watch from the grandstand after New Zealand's male hockey players sported black pants under white shorts during an earlier game against China.

Under the rules, shorts and pants must match, but New Zealand had played in their alternate white strip against the home side, and the team did not have white underwear.

The arrow in the photo above shows the offending colour clash during the 2-2 draw against China.

Such was the transgression that Olympic bosses initially threatened to suspend the players involved – until Marr took the flak and said he was responsible for what they wore.

He was suspended instead and was banned from the team dugout for their 3-1 defeat to Germany.

"They're pretty pedantic rulings," Marr said. "They are trying to ensure teams present themselves in the best possible light.

"I understand where the rule comes from but to suspend players is wrong. I wore it on the chin. I could have appealed but it just uses a lot of negative energy you don't need."

But it is not the end of the fiasco – and German coach Jochen Heimpel may now find himself in hot water.

With New Zealand in their usual black, the Germans switched from their usual black shorts to red for the crunch match.

But red underpants were hard to come by, so they wore black, and were reported for flouting the Olympic sartorial rules.

Heimpel contacted Marr to say the clanger had been reported, and his players had initially been threatened with suspension from their semi-final.

All the sides were warned after the Kiwis were caught, so Marr thinks Heimpel is likely to be banned for two matches instead of one.

Champ Bolt Slated For Showboating

Superhuman sprinter Usain Bolt has been slammed by Olympic chiefs for excessive "showboating" on the eve of his bid for a third gold medal.

The Jamaican became the fastest man in the world when he claimed gold in the 100m and 200m in Beijing - and he could win a third gold in the 100m relay on Friday.

But he did not act in the "spirit of the Olympic ideal" during his two world record-breaking performances, International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge said.

Bolt, who was 22 on Thursday, celebrated his double with a shaky-leg dance, and mouthed "I'm Number One" to the crowd, who then sang Happy Birthday to him.

And in the 100m at the Olympics on Saturday, he slowed down to showboat his way over the line in 9.69 seconds.

But Mr Rogge said: "He is a young man but he should show more respect for his rivals. That would be more in the spirit of the Olympic ideal.

"He should shake hands with them after the finish line. However, he is only 21 and he will learn.

"I have no problems with his showboating (before the race) but a shake of the hand or a tap on the shoulder immediately after the race would be a good gesture."

He criticised the sprinter's slow down in the 100m race, and his chest-beating gesture that could be seen as mocking his opponents.

"I understand the joy," he said. "He might have interpreted that in another way, but the way it was perceived was 'catch me if you can.' You don't do that."

American sprinter Shawn Crawford said he saw nothing wrong in Bolt's showboating.

He said: "If this guy has worked his tail off, every day, on his knees throwing up like I was in practice, he deserves to dance."

Bolt stunned the crowd in the Bird's Nest stadium when he became the first man since Carl Lewis in 1984 to win the 100 and 200 golds at a single Olympics, and the only man ever to do it by breaking world records in both.

Olympic Hostesses Strip Naked

Olympic hostesses had to strip naked so their body proportions could be measured to ensure only the most perfect women represented China at the Games.

But so great was the honour to hand out medals at the Beijing Games that they all agreed to shed their Chinese silk dresses and bare all.This was just one of the meticulous demands for the women who would end up in the glare of the world's media.

The Beijing Organising Committee for the Games of the 29th Olympiad (BOCOG) also required the candidates' eyes to be exactly 30% down the length of their face.

Their faces needed to meet stringent standards, including the ratio between the "width of the nose and the length of the face" and "width of the mouth and width between the pupils".

The girls all had to be university-educated, aged 18 to 24, and between 5ft 5in and 5ft 8in, with a "ruddy and shiny complexion", "elastic skin" and "a plump but not fat body".

The judges examined 5,000 girls from Beijing and Shanghai colleges until a final 297 were selected to be "Olympic victory ceremony volunteers".

They were then sent on a rigorous "charm boot camp" in Beijing's northern Changping district.

Their training was intense, with lessons from 6.30am to 11pm, in body-shaping, dancing, manners, ceremony processes and basic Olympic knowledge.

They were made to stand for hours in high-heels, and learned to hone the perfect smiles by spending hours in front of a mirror with a chopstick between their teeth."

In the standing sessions, we had to stand still and smile for half an hour or more," said 20-year-old hostess Ma Sha.

"We also ran about 1,000 metres every day for physical conditioning."But all the girls believe the training and selection process was worth it and are proud to be representing their country at the podium.

"I've always dreamed of being a guide hostess for the table tennis athletes at the Olympic venue," said Yang Xu, 19.

"We have worked so much, simply to give for a few minutes a good impression at the Olympic victory ceremony as we want to show the most beautiful aspect of oriental ladies across the world," said another of the candidates, Li Ziye, with a perfect - if robotic - beaming smile.

Beijing: A Protest-Free Zone?

Chinese police have confirmed there have been no demonstrations in any of the three special Olympic protest zones - despite dozens of applications from activists.

A total of 149 people, including three from overseas, made 77 applications for permission to protest at the Beijing Olympics, but none were approved, and most requests were withdrawn or rejected.

A spokesman for the municipal public security bureau said most of the applications concerned labour, medical and welfare issues.

He said 74 of the applications had been withdrawn after amicable settlements between the parties and Chinese authorities.

"Two other applications have been suspended due to incomplete procedures," he added.
"In one case, the applicant wanted to involve children in the demonstration. This is against the law."

The other case concerned incomplete particulars, he said, but did not go into further details.

The zones were set up after international pressure to allow protests during the Olympics following the controversial decision to award the Games to Beijing.

The three areas - Zizhuyuan Park in the city's northwest, Ritan Park in the east, and World Park in the southwest - are all miles away from the Olympic area.

And anyone looking for peace and quiet would have done well to visit them.

When Sky News visited Ritan, or Temple of Heaven, kites were flying, children were fishing, and elderly people were playing cards.

But aside from the large numbers of police patrolling the park, there was nothing to suggest it was a designated protest zone.

There was nothing to show which part of the 20-hectare park had been set aside for public demonstrations, or how large the area was.

The only signs told how Ritan was where emperors in the Ming and Qing dynasties worshiped before it was turned into a park by the People's Republic of China in 1949.

There have been quickly quelled Tibet protests near the stadiums, with a number of activists detained and deported.

But little of the anger that greeted the Olympic torch on its world tour has made it to Beijing.
Some international groups did not bother to apply, assuming the Chinese regime would not allow them visas into the country or permission to demonstrate.

The red tape involved did little for hopes the protest zones would create a precedent for free speech in China.

Demonstrators had to submit their requests at least five days in advance, detail the subject of protest, and information on who would be involved.

The application also had to clarify the time, route, posters and slogans to be used, and any use of amplified sound.

The politburo set up the zones to "adhere to the Olympic traditions, such as free expression outside the sporting venues," said Mo Yuchuan, director of the Research Center for Constitutional and Administrative Law, of Renmin University of China.

He claimed: "It offers a new channel for the protesters to better express their opinions by attracting the attention of tourists, reporters and officials during the Games."

But this is not the experience of those who applied for a protest permit, according to human rights groups.

They have recorded a string of alleged abuses including that of Ge Yifei, a 48-year-old doctor who wanted to vent her anger about a property dispute in her home town of Suzhou.

She was detained for several hours before being escorted home. Zhang Wei was jailed for 30 days after applying to protest about her home being destroyed in the Olympics development.

And parents whose children died in May's Sichuan earthquake were intercepted at Chengdu airport, and had their air tickets torn up. It leaves you with little doubt that the zones were set up to appease the International Olympic Committee's concerns about freedom of speech, and were never going to be used in the first place.

Given China's failure to deliver on its human rights promises, it only strengthens the argument of those who say the decision to award the Olympics to Beijing was a big mistake - and a humiliation for the IOC.

Argentinians In 'Slant Eye' Row

An internet campaign has been set up to kick Spain out of the Olympics - just as a third photograph emerged showing athletes impersonating Chinese people.

This time it is the turn of Argentinean women footballers Maria Potassa, Eva Gonzalez, Fabiana Vallejos and Andrea Ojeda (pictured left to right) to make the offending gesture.

The new photo was published in the South American sports newspaper Ole just days before the Olympic Games kicked off, alongside a preview of the team's first match in Beijing.

It came after separate photos appeared of Spain's women's tennis players and men's basketball team pulling the skin back at their temples to make them appear 'slit-eyed'.

After the first two snaps caused international condemnation, a group on the social networking site Facebook was launched under the banner: "Kick racist Spain out of the Olympics."

One internet campaigner commented: "If this had been a British or American team then for sure we both would have been kicked out.

"It's plain and simple - Spain is a racist country and should be treated as so. An example needs to be made, especially as one billion people, or 15% of the world's population, watched the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics!"

The latest photo will only lengthen the debate about the attitude of the Spanish - and their closely-tied South American counterparts - towards racism in sport.

There has been anger that the International Olympic Committee refused to take action against Spain after the first two photographs appeared.

A spokeswoman for the ruling body pointed out that formal apologies had been made to the Chinese government and the matter was closed.

Argentina's women footballers were quickly dumped out of the Beijing Games, losing all three of their games.

Ironically, they lost their last match 2-0 to China.

Bushtucker Trial In Beijing

Sky News Online's Alex Watts runs his own 'Bushtucker Trial' in Beijing's Donghuamen night market.

I threw up five minutes after visiting Donghuamen night market.

It wasn't the snake, or the scorpion, the lamb's penis, testicles, bees, centipede, or the beer I downed trying to banish the taste. It was the silkworm. And if you don't believe me, watch it here...

It exploded in my mouth and it was everything I could do to stop myself instantly gagging on the musty, yellow gunk.

I managed to last until the filming stopped - and then threw up in one of the bins.

All to the bemusement of the locals, who clearly found the array of creepy crawlies, and other things that go crunch in the night, delicious.

A sign in English said the people's government had rebuilt the market, off Beijing's central Wangfujing Street, to showcase 100 "dainty snacks" from all corners of China.

They said they wanted to "enhance the friendly exchanges with foreign countries."

But when I offered the delicacies to the hordes of Olympics fans who had descended on the infamous tourist spot, I think the most complimentary comment was "absolutely disgusting".

Only the French seemed to like it. A gaggle crowded round the scorpion stand and made pleasing, lip-smacking gestures in the way they would if they were tucking into a truffle or slice of foie gras, or a frog for that matter.

The whole thing was a dreadful experience, but the politburo was right: it did lead to some friendly - and hilarious - exchanges. I even found myself having a new-found respect for the likes of Peter Andre and Paul Burrell.

The Bushtucker Trials on TV show I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here looks easy when you're munching crisps on the sofa.

But when you get that first stomach convulsion, and insect legs stick in your throat, and the deep-fried, rancid taste is with you for the next 12 hours, it takes a lot more guts than you think.

"What do you think of the silkworm then?" I ask Canadian Kim Warburton, who is on a fact-finding mission for the Vancouver Games in 2010.

"It's awful. It's definitely a local taste - and it's still in my teeth!"

Her colleague Sarah Triantafillou is having none of it. I offer her a bit of snake, or was it a baby seahorse? But the most adventurous she'll go is the noodles.

"What did you think of the baby eels?" I ask. "What! No way!" she shrieks, clutching her mouth.
A Mexican guy butts in, shaking his head with a hangdog expression. "The scorpion was interesting," he muses.

I eventually get an American, in obligatory baseball cap, to eat a three-inch centipede. "It looks horrible, what does it taste like?" he grimaces. "It tastes like centipede," I tell him.

He crunches away with a pained look. "It's terrible - it's as bad as it looks. Errr centipede!" I offer him a beer to remove the taste.

"No thanks," he says. "If I drink too much beer, I might eat another one."

As the Olympics limbers up for its second week of flag-waving fervour, Sky News Online's Alex Watts looks at the lighter side of the Beijing Games.

A is for Arrests. Pro-Tibet students seem to be getting bundled into the back of police vans faster than you can say "calm a Llama down". But in the words of one seasoned hack out here in Beijing "they'll have to go some to top the Brits who shinned up those poles."

B is for Bangers. Or are they? All Olympic bosses would say were some of the fireworks "may have been" faked.

C is for Crooked Teeth. Poor Yang Peiyi might have a perfect voice but she wasn't pretty enough to sing in person at the opening ceremony - so another girl mimed it.

D is for Déjà vu. The feeling you get when someone says: "Do you know, the number eight is lucky in China - that's why the opening ceremony was held on 8/8/2008."

E is for Eight. And then they point out that it was also held at eight minutes past eight. Apart from the fireworks, that is. And the singing.

F is for Frankie 'Fun-Time' Gavin. The British boxer was definitely not having any when he got sent home for being overweight.

G is for Gold Medals. Just how many will China get this year seems to be the talk of the town. Sixteen in Atlanta, 28 in Sydney, 32 in Athens... Probably best not to delve too deeply.

H is for Hoffa. Or perhaps scoffer. World champion Reese Hoffa has an unusual celebration. The shot-putter likes to do laps of honour munching on a giant turkey leg. Why? I can't think of any other reason other than he's American.

I is for Irritating. The understated adjective used to describe the Australian past-time of ribbing Brits about sport.

J is for Johnson. Reporters can't wait until Boris gets out here. There's already talk from some about getting T-shirts printed with 'bored of the rings' on, so there's always a chance the gaffe-prone London mayor will liven things up.

K is for Kenya. He might have run for Kenya at the 1999 World Youth Games, but Stephen Cherono now runs for Qatar for a reported £500 a month for life. He even became Saaeed Shaheen.

L is for Ludicrous. While we are on the subject, Chinese table-tennis player Lin Ju is now apparently from the Dominican Republic. And Matt Reed (USA) will compete against his brother Shane (New Zealand) in the triathlon, even though they were born in the same country.

M is for clear as Mud. But it is different for horses - the rules state they must be from the same country as their rider.

N is for Nation. Michael Phelps would be fifth if he was one. His five golds put him above Australia and Great Britain in the table.O is for Oarsome. No doubt the headline if Team GB does well in the rowing.

P is for even more Predictable. Or perhaps 'Shock 'N Oar!'

Q is for Quidditch. No, it's still not an Olympic sport despite protestations from David Miliband and other Harry Potter fans.

R is for Radcliffe. Will Paula do it or won't she? And if she doesn't, will she cry?

S is for Scared. Modern pentathlete Katy Livingston admits she was terrified when she first went near a horse. That's about as interesting as some athletes get.

T is for Tiff. Tom Daley and his dive partner Blake Aldridge had one, but apparently it's all water under the bridge now.

U is for Unfortunate. there's no Eric the Eel this year.

V is for Volleyball. Tiananmen Square was originally going to be the venue for the beach volleyball. But Games chiefs thought it might be a little inappropriate.

W is for Wang Wei. The Olympics chief spokesman's name is pronounced as in 'wrong way' without the R. There were unkind titters when he took questions about the Beijing traffic system.

X is for... There isn't one because W was so good.

Y is for Yao Ming. At 7ft 6in isn't China's basketball star a bit too tall?

Z is for Zillions. Forget those myths about athletes living on beans on toast and putting a magnet on the electricity meter. The Olympics resembles a millionaires' playground these days. Ask Kobe Bryant or Roger Federer.